anniversary

my dad added me on facebook (and sent me a message about how much he loved me) and lo!  IMMEDIATELY I backed out, I thought "he didn't do those things to me, he didn't  mean it, he loves me, he just wants to help me, I'm ungrateful, I'm mean," so I didn't read the whole message, I deleted it, I blocked him, and I removed all of his friends from access to my page.

saw his picture and the anger came back, I realised that the "dad" I think of in my head when I tell myself he loves me and all this shit, doesn't exist, and the real person my dad is irritates me at best.  there is no reason for me to receive contact from him.

then I realised that this is the anniversary of his molesting me.  happy fucking anniversary you sad sack of shit.  I loved you and got my heart broke over and over for your selfish aims.